


The Stars Above

by Tehpootisman



Category: Highschool DxD (Anime), Terraria, Terraria (Calamity Mod)
Genre: Crossover, Epic gamer moments, Multi, OC heavy, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2020-01-23 14:29:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18551647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tehpootisman/pseuds/Tehpootisman
Summary: When a young student by the name of Sensou Kuraima comes across a fragment of a dead god, he is bestowed new powers and slammed facefirst into the world of the supernatural. Through trials and tribulation, he must prove himself worthy as the successor of Astrum Deus, the God of the Cosmos!Based on the Calamity mod.Note: The Fanfiction.net version is way, way more up to date, by at LEAST 5-6 chapters because I keep forgetting this site exists.





	1. They call me God

The moon was rising into the skies above the town of Kuoh, Japan. It was a relatively peaceful evening, and if things stayed that way, it would be a perfect night for stargazing.

 

A young adult male walked down the street, heading home with the intention to do exactly that. This was Sensou Kuraima, an American boy of Japanese descent who had moved to Japan so that he may experience modern life in his parent’s homeland, and currently on his third year at Kuoh Academy.

 

The academy in question was notable as being pretty prestigious, in a lot more ways than one might think. Yes, it was a pretty good school, but it had a really odd trait;

 

The women there were to die for. Busty bombshells, as far as the eye could see! The school had only recently become co-ed, previously being an all-girls school (Something that Kuraima didn’t expect to still be a thing). He’s not sure why his parents had recommended this school, but a part of him internally thanked them.

 

Though, maybe it was to try and help him cope with his society anxiety. Of course, it didn’t help at all since he was at year 3 without a girlfriend. Given that the other girls here were even worse than the boys who were explicitly here for the boobs, swooning over cute boys and arguing over yaoi ships, that was probably for the best. He had friends here, sure, but he was unpopular enough to avoid getting shipped with some other dude.

 

Now, there’s nothing wrong with having two dudes who love each other. Despite growing up in an Christian Household™ back in America, he was very open minded about these kinds of things, even if he was uncomfortable at the thought of getting it up the ass. However, there is a very fine line between shipping fictional characters and shipping real human beings.

 

He sighed, looking up at the star-filled sky to clear his mind and rid himself of the weird thoughts.

 

Speaking of which, stargazing at night was one of Kuraima’s favorite hobbies, apart from the occasional parkour run, and of course, gaming. He thoroughly enjoyed the idea of alien life living somewhere out there in the great void, and deep down, he secretly hoped that he’d live long enough to meet them.

 

The problem was that he didn’t have quite the guts or the mathematical capabilities, due to his mild ADHD, to be an astronaut. So for now, this would suffice.

 

As of right now, he was walking down the street, grocery bags in hand. He hummed a little tune to himself, minding his own business. Out of nowhere, an old man suddenly stumbled, dropping all of his belongings. Upon seeing this, Kuraima decided to stop and help out. Sure, he wanted to be a nice person, but mostly he helped out because he didn’t want to come off as a total douche who would ignore an old man in need.

 

“Ah! Thank you, young man. Not everyone would go out of their way to help an old geezer like me...” he thanked the third year student, chuckling at that last bit.

 

“...No problem, sir! Just doing the right thing!” He said, the awkwardness filling his voice.

 

As Kuraima bent down, he spotted a peculiar necklace. It had a large, bright orange pearl-like orb firmly enveloped with a chromatic metal that resembled oxidized bronze. When he offered it back to its rightful owner, the old man chuckled again. “You can keep that thing, young lad. Old gramps here kept it as a good luck charm, but I think you’re gonna need it more than me! Haha! Now you be careful, young man! There’s a pretty nasty thief goin’ around and robbing houses! Nobody’s been harmed yet, but I’d still play it safe if I were you!”

 

Kuraima gave him an incredulous look, then smiled awkwardly, nodding his head respectfully and pocketing the priceless jewelry before finally making his way home, blissfully unaware of the can of (literal) worms he was about to open.

 

Unfortunately for him, this was only the first of many, for he had just purchased a full shipment of worm cans.

 

—-

 

Several hours passed, as the 3rd year student finally finished up his homework. Delightfully, he immediately changed into his pajamas, and flopped onto his bed. He’d originally intended to go do some stargazing on his balcony, but he’d spent too much time on Reddit.

 

His room was pretty decorated, housing his bed and his personal computer. Various poster covered sections of the walls; some of which he’d brought with him from America, others he’d bought at local conventions.

 

He sat up, looking at the amulet that old man had given him, watching as how the light of the nearby lamp shone beautifully on its metal casing. Kuraima idly wondered; why would this old man just give away such a thing to somebody like him? How much money was this thing worth?

 

More importantly...why did he feel so sleepy…?

 

His outstretched hand slumped onto the bed as an overwhelming sleepiness overtook him.

—-

 

_“Wake up…witness my demise…”_

 

Kuraima awoke with a start. He had to blink a few times to make sure that his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him.

 

He was in goddamn space!

 

He had to pinch himself a few times, but not once did he reawaken in back home in bed.

 

Okay, so he was in space, without a helmet. Yet, his head hadn’t popped like a balloon. Maybe that was just a myth after all...but still, what the hell was going on?

 

His question was answered when a massive being nearly rammed into him. A gargantuan space worm, covered in a shell of gray and bright teal plating much like that charm he’d received, shot past him. He helplessly twirled about in zero gravity for a few moments before he came to rest on a large asteroid. How….oddly convenient.

 

Despite its terrorizing size, Kuraima couldn’t help but feel enamored by its beauty. In the beast’s wake, waves of golden stardust flowed.

 

However, nothing is sacred. He couldn’t hear it, but he could feel the fabric of time and space warping as yet another worm shot out of a rip in reality. It wasn’t as big as the space worm, but the student could feel his legs trembling from the imposing aura this….thing….gave out. Soundlessly, the smaller worm pierced through the space worm’s shell like an arrow, the former’s body wriggling as it burrowed inside like a parasite. Had there been sound, then he would’ve probably heard ethereal squeals, the sound of flesh ripping, bones snapping, and other discomforting noises.

 

The armor plating curled and bulged as the intruder ate away at its flesh, causing space worm to writhe in agony. It took a lot of effort to avoid soiling himself when the intruding predator shot out of the open wound, its victim clearly dead.

 

It had died an agonizing death, unable to resist. Kuraima could just feel the existential dread looming over him.

 

The smaller worm coiled around the fallen beasts’ husk, and simply crushed it like a tin can.

 

_“That which devours…it came for me when I was being careless. I was foolish to think I could escape simply by running to the edge of the universe.”_

 

The scene faded into pure black as Kuraima found himself standing on an invisible surface.

_“The Devourer of Gods...a great beast whose hunger cannot be satiated. Unlike most beasts, who are simply named because of their sheer size, this one was more literal. It had actually grown so large, it could consume godlike being such as I. Nobody was safe.”_

 

In front of him, the visage of the massive worm. It showed the creature eating titanic eldritch beasts, tearing them apart like a dog playing with dolls.

 

_“With my last breath, I released what remained of my pieces. I was a god born of man’s faith. It was only fitting that I, as they say, ‘gave back to the people.’”_

 

The world around Kuraima changed, this time changing to that of a fantasy world. He was in the middle of a bustling medieval city when everyone suddenly stopped, pointing up into the sky and panicking as a massive meteor fell from the sky.

 

_”I should’ve been more gentle about it, but I didn’t really have a choice.”_

 

The scene changed again, showing the meteor’s impact zone. A sickly miasma came from the air as the plants outside of the crater began to wilt and turn sickly pale, transforming into alien entities. ‘Gentle, my ass…’

 

Awkward pause.

 

_“I heard that...anyways...Several warriors were chosen to wield my power.”_

 

Groups of various people appeared around Kuraima. There seemed to be no end to the variety-- people from all walks of life stood around him. Kings, peasants, humans, elves, beasts, some in-between, and some even beyond the spectrum of organic biology.

 

_“However, one piece ended up in your hands; the charm you received. You see, I got lucky.”_

 

The scenery once again changed to the space worm’s destruction. The Devourer, as it was apparently called, sped away from its kill to return to whence it came. A small piece was caught on the worm’s armor only to dislodge itself inside the dimensional gap between worlds.

 

_“Many things happened, most of which involved me collecting dust in antique stores. However, I have now found a compatible user...you. The reality of this world gave me a form known as a Sacred Gear. My “sacred gear”, as they call it, is an utterly blank slate. As you evolve, so will my power. I have provided a small taste of my own abilities to get help you started as this world’s avatar of mine.”_

 

A silent pause. For a moment, the world around the student seemed to brighten.

 

_“I must go soon. As it is, I am only a soul in the Astral Plane, and even now I can only barely maintain the connection needed to converse with you. But allow me to inform you of several things you need to know.”_

 

Kuraima, taking in the information surprisingly well for someone with ADHD, nodded solemnly.

 

_“First of all, there’s more than meets the eye. From what I have seen, this world has much to offer in the supernatural.”_

 

Another pause, allowing the student to process this information.

 

_“However…chances are that you will meet others from my world. It will become inevitable. However, not all of them will be out to get you. There are other gods on the run to escape the Devourer’s jaws. I’m quite certain of this… for many of them are already here.”_

 

Kuraima shivered as the world around him flashed once more, before he finally asked the important question. “Hey...what’s your...name?”

 

The ethereal voice paused.

 

_“I am known as Astrum Deus. It translates to “Star God” in latin. A fitting name for the lord of the cosmos, is it not?”_

 

Before Kuraima could answer, the world began to grow white.

 

_“The wakening world beckons. Sensou Kuraima, Earth’s Avatar of Astrum Deus. Your destiny begins...now.”_

 

\---

 

Kuraima woke back up in bed. The charm was now firmly sitting on his neck, the chain wrapped around like a proper necklace. He took a moment to process what just happened.

 

Then the realization kicked in. “Holy shit! I just met an alien!”

 

Quickly, he booted up his Nintendo Switch and started playing Bayonetta 2, attempting to push the looming existential dread away. After all, he had literally just accomplished his “impossible” life goal in the middle of high school. (And in chapter 1, no less.)

 

Thank god for weekends!

 

However, he then heard the sound of glass breaking downstairs and froze, ruining his latest attempt to achieve a Pure Platinum ranking.

 

‘The hell was that?!’ He thought. Then he remembered the old man’s warning.

 

Shieeeeeeet.


	2. Worms.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuraima has met with the spirit of Astrum Deus himself and granted some of his powers! Our hero attempts to ward off the existential dread, only to hear a crash downstairs. What could possibly be in store for him, so soon after gaining his new abilities?

 

 

* * *

_“ _Hello, this is 119, emergency services, how may I help you?”__

Kuraima held his iPhone to his ear as he called Japan’s equivalent of 911. “Yes...uh...I would like to report what I believe is a house invasion in progress…”

He wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t some shonen battle-action protagonist who would recklessly charge into the fray. That worm god didn’t even give him a inkling of an explanation of what his new powers were capable of!

_“Please remain calm, we’re sending police units immediately. Is the intruder armed?”_

Were they? Hell if he knew! “I….I don’t know...all I know is that there’s someone in my house!” If only he could just see through walls! But alas, beggars can’t be choosers.

Kuraima continued to mentally thrash around until he felt an overwhelming headache. He clutched his forehead, desperately trying to remain calm.

—

_The God of the Cosmos could see plenty enough. Only the Devourer could avoid his watchful eyes._

—

The amulet was glowing, pouring knowledge into his brain, which was sensually narrated by the disembodied voice of David Attenborough. Items of high value around him began to glow a soft yellow. He could see the glowing silhouette of a painting in the hallway, even through the wall. A spider roamed beneath the floor, marked with a green, arachnid-shaped dot. In the place he believed to be the downstairs kitchen, the figure of his house intruder, glowing a bright, hostile red. Unlike the spider, he could see a detailed image of this person, almost as if he were a cheater using wallhacks in an online match.

Bald male, rather buff and rigid, flaky dried skin, with a row of spines running down the length of his body. Oh, and the gaping maw of teeth.

_‘What the actual fuck?’_ Kuraima thought to himself. _‘He looks like those fucking Hell Knights from Doom!’_

_“Excuse me sir, is everything alright?”_ The dispatcher asked. The student quickly snapped back to reality. “Oh...yes...I’m still here..It’s just…” He didn’t even have to put any effort into faking it, he was already mentally drained from the headache and forced insertion of knowledge. “I’ve just got a migraine, because i’m really stressed out…”

_“Sir, I understand this is a very stressful situation, but please remain calm.”_

“I know...I just got a look at the intruder. It’s….a bald dude...and his skin looks really dried out…He doesn’t even look human.” And Kuraima thought that his _own_ skin conditions was bothersome enough.

Just then, the inhuman invader looked up towards him. He didn’t hear him...did he?

Yes, yes he did. He’s heading up the stairs…! “Oh sweet jesus he heard me.”

Kuraima reached down and grabbed something wedged in the thin space between the bed frame and the mattress; a standard combat knife, a gift from his father. He pulled it from its sheath, ready to make a last ditch effort to protect his precious belongings...and his own life, of course.

For once in his life, he wished he had the Second Amendment™ on his side. But he was stuck here in his home with nothing but a knife and probably some other improvisational weaponry.

_“Sir? Are you there? Hello?”_ The 119 responder could be heard asking as the student leaves his phone on the bed.

A foul stench seeped into the room, giving Kuraima urge to hurl yesterday’s lunch. He did his best to steel his resolve, raising the knife into a less-than-optimal attack stance as he took up an ambush position. His hand trembled, as he’d never been into anything potentially more violent than a shoving fight.

He had little warning, other than the magical wallhack, when the beast-person pulled his arm back, and fucking _punched_ through the wall, aiming to grab his throat and wring his neck like a chicken. Claws gently bristled against his neck as he jumped back, yelping like a little girl.

Panicking, he swung the knife with reckless abandon. Blade met dried flesh as he struck its palm, cutting it up. Drops of blood dripped from the shallow wounds. Upon discovering that its prey fought back, the house intruder squealed in anger, withdrawing its arm. The student used this moment of reprise to catch his breath, panting loudly.

At this point, it became _very_ clear that this person was not out for ill-gotten gains, but for blood. Didn’t make the situation any less worse for him, though. Now, the question was how to escape this mess….

The door snapped in half, flinging wooden splinters into the air, as the house intruder burst through, snarling. However, Kuraima was nowhere to be seen. The only sign of him was a recently opened window.

—-

The so-called parkourist hung from a ledge, his grip tightening in the chilly pre-dawn air.

He’d chosen to abscond from his room, via the window. Already, he was regretting it. It was pretty cold out here, and he didn’t have much room for maneuvering. His name was supposed to translate something along the lines of “Climber” but this was ridiculous.

However, it became even more readily apparent that he’d just goofed big time when he looked over and saw how far away the ground below him was.

Okay, parkourist or not, he was _not_ willing to drop from a two-story building from the second floor. Survivable, yes. But still very, _very_ unpleasant.

He didn’t have much of a choice when the house intruder poked out of the window, glowing beady eyes staring down at him as drool gathered within its mandible-filled mouth. It heaved, dropping a ball of sand —congealed with an assload of saliva— right onto his face. The climber instinctively let go, dropping down to the ground below.

_‘Fuuuuuuck, how many STDs did I just get?’_

With a thud, Kuraima landed on the ground, in the middle of his decorational backyard garden. He began to wipe off the offending spitball when he felt something bite his hand. He recoiled, pulling a segmented little worm out of the mess. It wriggled wildly, flailing, desperate to rip into his flesh and feast on his insides. Grossed out, he tried to yank it off, to little success. Eventually, he ended up crushing it, resulting in a nasty mix of brittle carapace and soft, moist worm guts, causing the student holding it to gag intensely.

He flung it off towards the dirt, and finally took a moment to recollect himself.

So now here he was; chased out of his own house by the most disgusting supernatural entity of all time. Not only that, but he’d left his house keys inside of the building, so he was also locked out.

Fan- _fucking_ -tastic.

“Hey, uuuh…I guess I’ll come back later?” A new voice spoke up. Kuraima looked up to see some homeless-looking man armed with a crowbar.

“......What are you doing here?”

The homeless man shrugged. “Oh, I _was_ gonna rob your house. But then I saw that you got caught up in….whatever the hell you’re doing.” He admitted. So this was the house robber the old man had warned him about?

Kuraima just stared at him for a few good seconds as the monster hissed down at them.

“I...guess I’ll go now.” The man said, turning away.

“N-No! Wait!” The student called out. “I’m locked out of my own house! Surely you can help me get back in?” The man looked very bewildered. “You fuckin’ retarded, kid?! That thing’s not human! It’ll fuck you right up!”

That….was a very good point. Just a few moments ago he was trying to defend himself. Why was he suddenly so concerned about going back inside? He could just wait it out, and wait until the police arrive!

Except...what if the police are outclassed? It’s a supernatural entity, for god’s sake! As per rules of fiction media, cops are almost always useless when put up against such beings!

No, no! That’s just fiction! A tale!

No, wait. If the supernatural exists, then what else was real?! Was he gonna end up in Area 51, or was he going to be locked up at SCP’s Site 19, where he would then be sodomized by Dr. Bright’s Chainsaw Cannon™? So many works of fiction, so many possibilities—

“Ack!” He called out when the would-be robber pinched him. “Dude, you alright? You spaced out there!” Kuraima rubbed the spot on his shoulder where he got pinched. “Y...Yeah. I’m fine.”

But he wasn’t fine. Why did he want to re-enter the house so badly? He didn’t know. Finally, he sighed. “You got anything to do? I left my phone up in there…”

—-

**[A few minutes later…]**

“Hey, you got any fives?”

“Go fish. You got any aces?”

“Go fish.”

Kuraima and the homeless-looking man, who he had learned was named Nyke, sat across from each other, playing a game of Go Fish. As for why his new buddy was bringing a deck of playing cards to a planned home invasion was a mystery for another day.

The beast had lost interest in the teenager after chasing him out of the house, and according to Kuraima’s magical wallhacks, he could see it rummaging through the fridge, greedily stuffing its face with fresh groceries.

_‘Fucking freeloader.’_ He thought to himself, adjusting his legs on account of his incredibly sore lower half.

“You got any pain pills?”

“Go fish— Wait, what?”

“Ugh.”

The two were interrupted by a twisted snarl as two shapes came out of the bushes. Another of the twisted, dried individuals came out; another bald male, and as expected of a fanfiction about an ecchi harem anime, _a female_.

Kuraima would’ve rated her body a 7/10 —maybe even a 9/10 for the monster girl schtick— on the 4Chan Rating Scale™, were it not for the grotesque dried skin that looked more like twisted carapace than anything else. So instead, she gets a 3/10, and a foreseeable restraining order.

“Gwaaarh!” She hissed menacingly, revealing her maw full of twisted teeth and mandibles, a white crystalline substance coating them.  “Food! Food! Two adolescent young males! Tonight we shall feast!”

The two aforementioned males looked at each other.

“I don’t know if I wish she meant that in a sexual way. I don’t want that fucking meat grinder she calls a mouth anywhere near my dick but at the same time I’d rather _not_ die.” Nyke stated

“...You and me both, stranger.” The student and the criminal nodded in agreement, the two turning back to face their opponents in tandem. “We gonna fight this out?”

“As much as I don’t like our chances, I say we’ve no other choice. At least, until the cops arrive.”

Kuraima grabbed at his waist for the hilt of his knife, and nearly blanched when he felt nothing but an empty sheath. He’d tossed the knife aside in his panic when he’d jumped out of the window earlier.

Too late to dwell on that, as the alpha bitch charged him. She slashed at him, scoring first blood! It was a shallow cut, but it stung like a bitch nonetheless. He stumbled back, looking for a weapon to use. Then, he spotted it; in the distance sat his combat knife, early morning lights glimmering off its blade like the Holy Aura of Excalibur™.

Kuraima jumped back, focusing his attention on his opponent once more to avoid the Scourge’s swiping claws as she moved in for a follow-up attack.

“Come to me, my dinner! I’ll eat you raw!” She taunted, twisting her snake-like tongue between her teeth and mandibles.

“I’d rather not!” Kuraima responded. He threw a panicked right hook at the alpha, only for her to catch his wrist at blinding speeds. She pushes him back, up against the side of his house, threatening to wrench his arm from his body. He clenched his teeth as searing pain shot through him, the predator getting face-to-face while wearing the lovecraftian equivalent of a shit-eating grin.

“Hey! Eat this!” A bloodied Nyke suddenly shouted, slamming a crowbar into the monster’s head, spreading guts and the like…

Actually, the crowbar snaps into two.

The Scourge offhandedly slaps Nyke away— who is immediately dogpiled by the screeching male— before refocusing on her prey. “Where shall I bite first? The throat is so tasty, but i’m in the mood for some ribs!”

While she monologues about how she was gonna cannibalize him, his free hand managed to feel up the valve for the water hose faucet. Glancing around, he notices that said hose is connected to a recreational water sprinkler. Not one of those soft ones you ran through as a kid, but one of those _high-powered_ ones that stung a teeny tiny bit if you got too close to where the water came out. He twisted that valve like there was no tomorrow, unleashing a firm stream of water through the hose.

This caught her off guard, as she turned around to try and find out why she felt water on her backside...only to get sprayed directly in the eyes. Her grip loosened for but a moment, which was all he needed. He mustered all of his strength, slamming his knee into her stomach.

Brittle chitin shattered beneath the force, prompting saliva and parasitic worms to slip from her surprised mouth. The student made a break for it, despite his now very sore knee, running towards the knife’s resting place.

But alas, lady luck was busy binge-drinking, when a ball of wet sand struck his shin with enough force to disrupt his stride and send him collapsing to the ground. The other male, the one who had invaded his home, had torn through the back door upon realizing that its leader had been hurt and immediately went on the offensive, firing sandy spitballs at the student.

As the beast charged him, Kuraima scrambled to grab his blade. He was barely able to grasp it just as the beast was upon him! He rolled back over, swinging the blade in a wide arc across the creature’s chest, creating a large gash. Wounded, the man-scourge retreated, hissing.

He took this moment to catch his breath. The two Scourges approached slowly, wary of any tricks he might try to pull.

_“Gyaaaaaaagh!”_

Kuraima heard screaming and looked over to see Nyke getting his hand chewed up by the battered desert menace.

“Nyke!” He called out, prepping the knife. But then he hesitated, knowing that he probably couldn’t throw for shit if his life depended on it.

Knife or no knife, the two of them were still sorely outmatched.

“How interesting!” The female called out, “The two of you are the first to last this long! A full minute!”

_‘Has it really been that long…?’_

“Unfortunately I’m afraid that my hunger for human flesh has grown too strong for me…” She glances over at the water sprinkler for a moment. ”...to hold at bay!”

There was something Kuraima couldn’t hold at bay either.

“...Why human flesh?” The alpha Scourge stopped, looking back at him. “Ex….Excuse me?”

_‘Me and my big mouth. Here goes nothing!”_

“Aren’t humans just a hassle to kill? I mean, come on, there’s livestock, out there in the countryside, with probably tenfold more nutritional value. And, uh, like...uh….oh, right! Humans tend fight back when cornered, and they tend to go searching for people who go missing, y’know!”

_‘Thank you, Terrible Writing Advice video on alien invasions.’_

Silence reigned for a while. Even Nyke stopped screaming like a little bitch.  “Little human... _are you serious?_ ”

Kuraima shrugged halfheartedly. “....Maaaaybe?”

An awkward pause ensued before she started screaming. “...That’s. IT. **I’m going to strip you down, down to your bones!** ”

“But I just—“

**“SHUT UUUUUP! HOW DARE YOU BRING LOGIC INTO THE EQUATION!”**

As she screamed, tons of the chitinous worms emerged from every opening on her body, _including the unmentionables_. What he’d previously assumed to be body mass was actually a writhing mass of worms.

Screw the 4Chan rating system, this gal’s a straight up a fucking _one._

**“FEED, LITTLE ONES! TEAR HIM APART! SHRED HIM!”**

The undulating tidal wave of worms obeyed her command, inching towards Kuraima and the downed home invader, who was desperately trying to hobble away.

_‘Damnit! I can’t attack her, even if I could throw a knife, because then I’d be open to her big…what’s the word….lackies.’_ He silently thought, weighing his options. _‘If I attack one of them, the others will come after me. I’m not even wearing shoes, so trying to traverse across the worm army is a no-go as well!’_

...Screw it! He brandished his knife, facing towards the closest scourge; the one who had just attacked him before the human flesh debacle.

_‘Astrum, please! If you’re listening, help me! Bless this blade that I wield or something!’_

The large gem on his Sacred Gear began to glow...

The scourge, seeing his action as a threat, went on the offensive, charging at him. This time, however, Kuraima was ready. He held the knife up, with the intention of making the man-beast impale himself. When his opponent caught on to his plan, it was too late.

The student for a moment thought that his arms would buckle under the pressure, as the knife dug deeply into the being’s chest, piercing through bone, muscle, and heart tissue like a piece of cake.

For a moment, he felt dread. He had just ended someone’s life! But he tried his best to ignore it. After all, it _was_ in self defense.

Now feeling internally twice as dead as the actual dead beast, pulled his blade out and shoved the dying body away from him, distracting a good number of worms as they stopped to feast on the man’s flesh.

The blade was now covered in an ethereal glow, with magical neon energies illuminating every scuff and scratch on the blade.

—-

_Whereas the previous ability was a power held by Astrum Deus as a physical being, this ability stems from him as a god-like entity. With this power, an avatar of Deus can infer a blessing on behalf of the god, who cannot do so mainly because he’s dead._

_People or objects given the Cosmic God’s blessings can achieve greater performances! The closest comparison might be Shirou’s Reinforcement spell. Weapons become sharper, fires burn brighter, and so on._

_For now, Kuraima can only bless smaller, simpler objects. The knife is only about 10% more powerful, but against the Desert Scourge’s brittle chitin, it might as well be a finely-crafted greatsword made from the most elusive of metals! But who knows what he might be able to pull off in the future…?_

—-

Did...that voice straight up mention some dude named Shirou? More specifically, Shirou Emiya from the Fate/Night series? Huh. Weird!

He was having second thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, he could fight back! But his thoughts were rudely interrupted when the worms gathered around him and begun _flinging_ themselves at him, in an attempt to grab a foothold on his skin.

Let it be known; Kuraima did _not_ enjoy having creepy crawlies touching him _anywhere._ Especially those that actively tried to dig into his flesh! He backed away, scanning the yard for a new escape route. He saw Nyke in the distance, who’d managed to stab the other Scourge to death with the broken crowbar.

“Dude you gonna be alright!?” The student called out. He got a cry of pain in response.

“Aaaaaaugh! Their teeth are covered in salt! It _fucking_ hurts!” Well, that explains the white stains. At long as that alpha doesn’t bite him, he should be good to go. “Are you able to get outta here?”

“I can manage! But how the hell are we gonna beat this bitch? And where’s the goddamn cops?!” Nyke replies, stabbing a worm through the head as it edged too close to him. “You called them almost half an hour ago!”

——

Unfortunately, the cops had pulled up to the wrong house, where a robbery in progress just so _happened_ to occur at the same time.

——

Kuraima, trying to think of an answer, looked over at the Desert Scourge once more. She stood there menacingly...or at least, she attempted to. Over and over, she continued to glance over at the water sprinkler, even going so far as to scoot closer to it.

Then, the student realized something. _‘That’s it! Her mouth is full of salt, and salt makes you thirsty as hell! I should know; for I put too much salt on everything I eat!`_

He had the distraction, but not the means to directly utilize it. Unless…

Kuraima breathed in, mentally steeling himself, holstering his knife.

_‘Okay, the thing I said about shonen protagonists…fuck it! I’m gonna do it!’_

He exhaled, and ran full sprint across the worm field.

“Oi, kid! What the hell are you doing?!” The burglar yelled. “You’re gonna die!”

Sharp pincers snapped at his ankles with audible clicks, which he desperately tried to ignore as the smaller worms were messily crushed beneath his steps, getting yucky worm guts all over his precious socks.

“You’re pretty ballsy, for a human!” The Scourge called out, gathering sand within her palms. “But that courage won’t do any good!” She swung her arms, sending a pair of hardened sand balls at him.

He managed to avoid the first one, only to feel a sharp pain shoot through his ankle as the second one struck. With his stride ruined and an overwhelming sense of deja vu, he misstepped and came collapsing down with an embarrassing flop.

_`Seriously? I was downed by the same attack? TWICE???`_

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw his opponent move in to stab him with her claws, forcing him to quickly roll over, but not in time to avoid a glancing blow to his side, leaving her talons embedded in the ground.

“Stay **STILL!** ” She screamed, wildly slashing at him with her other arm while trying to pry her claws from the muddy earth.

Without the time to think of a witty remark, he grabbed for the water sprinkler. He grabbed its base with both hands, aiming it directly at her face.

“God bless!” Kuraima shouted, as the rotor-blades of the water sprinkler became blessed, improving its performance.

Whereas before it simply stung a little, now, it packed a little bit more punch.

Plus, he now had it aimed right at her eyes. She screeched...no, _screamed_ as she was blinded with pressurized fluid!

“Bite on this!” His adrenaline pumping, the student yelled as he unsheathed his knife and stabbed her in the gut. A direct hit!

She stumbled back, blood oozing from her wound. She opened her mouth to scream obscenities, but not a single word came out.

He reared back, kicking her in the stomach and sending her down to the ground with a big _thwomp_. While she was down, he took his chance to jump onto her, straddling the Scourge and holding the knife above her, poised to strike. She stared at it, unable to look away and awaiting in inevitable.

The blade never came down.

“Oi, Kuraima! The hell you waiting for? Kill that bitch!”

The student held his hand high, trembling. “I….I can’t do it!” He’d seen the fear in her eyes. Unlike the males who’d charged at him, she still resembled an actual human. Not a...visually pleasing one, but still.

“You can’t do what?! She _fucking tried to_ **_kill you!”_ ** Nyke complained, trying to remind him of the obvious.

“I….ah….uh….” He’d lost his adrenaline high, but his frantic beating of his heart still rang throughout his head as he tried to think of a response.

Nothing came to mind. With shaky legs, he got off of her and stood up.

“L...Leave!” He demanded through pained breaths, pointing the glowing blade at her. “Leave and d...don’t come back!”

She nodded frantically and scrambled away into the woods. Once her silhouette disappeared into the forestry, Kuraima half-collapsed, sitting down on the ground.

“Ack...fuckin’ hell.” The student sighed. His precious pajamas were stained with blood and cut up in various places. The t-shirt he could easily replace. However he really enjoyed that particular pair of pants. It was about time he washed them, anyways.

He could feel his vision getting darker and darker. By exerting himself, he’d kept his shallow wounds open. Yes, they were shallow, but they were pretty big.

“Hey, what was that sound?!” A male voice called out.

Finally, the cops arrived, walking around the corner.

“Holy shit, call an ambulance!”

Finally assured that he and his apparently new buddy were in safe hands, Kuraima passed out.

—-

**Later, in the hospital…**

Kuraima slept soundly in his hospital bed, covered in bandages. He didn’t need any stitches, luckily, but he’d be left with a sore, bruised leg for quite a while. He’d be discharged in about a day or two, but for now he was content to dream about the stars.

However, someone else had other plans in mind. A ripple, a portal, if you will, opens up beside his bed.

Out comes a woman, donning heavy armor, made from an unknown metal. Smooth curves gave it the appearance of chitin, giving off the aura of a god slayer.

Her boots clanked heavily as she walked to Kuraima’s side. A second person shortly followed her in through the portal; he heavily resembled Raiden from Metal Gear Rising, to the point one might consider him a cosplayer were it not for the massive red mane of hair and the small rocket boosters on his upper back. At his sides, were several sheathed blades, two scimitars and a blood-red katana.

“Mistress,” he began. “Pardon my insolence or ignorance, but are you sure you wish to do this? Wouldn’t it be more merciful to kill him?”

“Very much so.” She replied, withdrawing a syringe filled with an icky green substance, covered in a bright pink-ish aura. “But he still has a chance to live if I do it this way. Not everyone has a royal heritage like you, Von Crimsten, to overpower the infection.”

She was referring to the Astral Infection, the plague that has destroyed many planets back in Astrum’s world. Her bodyguard happened to be part of an extremely important bloodline, allowing him to assimilate and control his very own strain of this galactic plague.

“He is but simply a normal teenager, albeit one with an above-average mana supply.” The hulking armored form of a woman continued. “I watched my own brother, even though blessed by the star god himself, suffer as the Astral matter within his body continued to generate until it poisoned him to death. The only reason we haven’t had to trim out your symbiote is because your current body is simply a projection with a soul inside. If not even you were able to escape the infection unscathed, then what chance does _he_ have?” She questioned, motioning over to the teen.

Her bodyguard crossed his arms. “And so you would use my late father-in-law’s plague, infused with the essence of the Great Devourer, to make sure he lives?”

“If a deal with the Devourer is what it takes, then so be it.” She gestures to her own body, her bright, pixelated eyes glowing brightly in the dark hospital room. “I lost _everything_ to the Astral Infection. My family, my body, _my planet._ I’ll be damned if I let the same happen to this beautiful world.”

The cyborg in red stares at her for a moment, clenching his fists. The Crimson man knew all too well what is was like to lose his entire family. Twice, in fact.

Then, he nods solemnly. “Alright, Mistress Klaire. Do it.”

Kuraima’s unconscious form flinched as the syringe was imbedded into his neck, slowly depositing its contents into the student’s bloodstream.

“We’re finished here.”

By the time Kuraima woke up, the two were long gone. The only sign they were even there was a slight stinging sensation on the side of his neck.

He shrugged, checking his phone. (It’d been returned to him after the police searched his house for any intruders. They found none.)

It was Sunday.

Fuuuuuuuuck, he’d literally just started his weekend only to sleep through it all!

—-

Meanwhile, Nyke got sentenced about a hundred hours of community service for conspiracy to attempt burglary.

They would’ve sentenced him with jail time, but seeing as how poor he was and how he had to get his hand amputated because it was so horribly mangled, they decided to give him a break.


	3. Schoooooool.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuraima goes to school.
> 
> That's it.
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, fine. He delves deeper into the world of the supernatural, starting with the Devils.

  **Notice: The Fanfiction.net version is currently more up to date. I just thought I'd let ya'll know.**

 

 

 

 

 

School.

 

A place of knowledge, and learning, what is supposed to be a land of wonder and opportunity.

 

Unfortunately for many, school is a cesspit of anxiety, tears, and disappointment.

 

Now, Japanese schools might be better than American ones, but let me remind you that while Kuraima’s heritage may be that of Japanese descent, his mind was an American to the core! God bless the United States of America!

 

Except for the education system.

 

Fuck the American education system for the reasons stated in my poetic tangent about schools.

 

Even now, Kuraima felt extremely tired. 

 

Yet, he has gotten a good night’s rest, so while he was tired, he was in a paradoxical state of being highly alert yet exhausted.

 

Truth be told, it was agonizing.

 

He was tired because he’d had his entire weekend of personal time taken away from him by that worm thot. And let it be known that Kuraima practically worshipped the idea of having the spare time where he had nothing to worry about! He’d barely managed to get his homework done after getting out of the hospital yesterday.

 

Though, something also bothered him.

 

For some odd reason, though, there was a distinct lack of attention. Now, mind you, that was a good thing; Kuraima was very awkward in the face of attention.

 

Nobody came by to ask if he was okay. Hell, there wasn’t any talk about a student being attacked and hospitalized in the first place!

 

If it’d been covered up as him being attacked by a wild animal, sure, that’d make sense, supernatural beings are very secretive, after all.

 

Nope. Not a word! Zero. Zilch. Whatever words that shorten the phrase “literally nothing” that come to mind, that’s what would be used to describe the amount of concern shown for him.

 

Okay, so maybe he was a bit of an attention-seeker. But still.

 

Seems like today was just not his day.

 

However, his day brightened up when he saw the infamous Perverted Trio™ getting chased around by the girls of the Kendo club.

 

Yes, those three were a true enigma. There was absolute ALL the reasons to expel them. Yet in the months they had been here, they continued to remain enrolled.

 

Knowing them, they probably blackmailed someone…though if their peeping skills meant anything, they most likely couldn’t pull off such a thing.

 

Then again, this school was the furthest thing from a normal school, so who was he to apply logic to Kuoh Academy?

 

...Huh? Come to think of it, he only saw two of the trio running away from the girls.

 

“Ooooi! Kuraima-san!”

 

He was brought out of his mental musings by the sound of the said third member; Issei Hyoudou.

 

Issei was...something, to say the least. This kid had once proclaimed word for word that he would become _the Harem King_. Trademark pending.

 

To this day, Kuraima wasn’t sure whether or not to record this guy’s antics and post it to a cringe subreddit.

 

Like, seriously! All this guy goes on and on about is boobs!

 

_‘I mean, he’s not wrong.’_ The student thought to himself. _‘Boobs are nice, but PLEASE just shut up!’_

 

“Dude! Please tell me you remember Yuuma!!”

 

What?

 

Of course, who could forget about this “Yuuma?” Just last week, Issei was bragging about how he finally got something that the third-year chalked up to as “big tiddy GF.”

 

Was she goth? He couldn’t remember. Couldn’t be bothered to, either.

 

_“We get it, Hyoudou-san!”_ Kuraima half-snapped at him. “Yes, the entire school knows, and frankly, I don’t care—“

 

He was interrupted. “Ahah! So you do remember!”

 

Kuraima stared at him. A good, long, incredulous stare of disbelief and utter confusion. His social anxiety began to flare up, but he shoved it aside.

 

“Bro, are you high?” Hyoudou looked at him, unfamiliar with the Western terms “bro” and “high”, before shrugging it off.

 

“No! I’m dead serious! Literally, nobody remembers Yuuma but you and me!”

 

“........wut?”

 

The Astral student needed a moment to reboot his brain while doing his best to kindly leave this degenerate presence.

 

He didn’t know how he managed to do it, but somehow he managed to distract Issei long enough to escape.

 

* * *

 

 

_“Blah blah blah boobers blah blah blah…”_

 

_Kuraima pointed over the pervert’s shoulder._

 

_“Issei! Look! It’s Akeno!”_

 

_Predictably enough, Issei spun around, only to see a distinct lack of said fellow student._

 

_“You liar! What’re you—“ He turned to see Kuraima legging it down the school’s front yard._

 

* * *

 

_‘You fool! You fell for the classic blunder!’_

* * *

 

 

Meanwhile, the two’s interactions were being watched. Perhaps if Kuraima pointed in the other direction, he’d actually pointed towards this aforementioned “Akeno.”

 

Akeno Himejima, along with another student known as Rias Gremory, were known as the Two Great Ladies of Kuoh for their absolute superhuman beauty.

 

The two were currently watching from a window on the second floor of the rundown building to the school’s side. Officially, the story behind it was that the old building had too much sentimental value to be demolished and that the school budget didn’t have room to fully renovate a building that they didn’t really intend to use.

 

The two girls played a game of chess as they discussed varying topics.

 

“That Hyoudou…” the redhead, Rias, began as she moved one of her side’s pieces. “Glad to see that he’s still as lively as ever.”

 

“Ara~ Ara~” The long-haired beauty, Akeno, giggled in a seductive tone, glancing over at the pervert in the school’s front yard. Issei looked dumbly in Kuraima’s direction before coming to a realization and running off after him. “It’s a bit endearing~!”

 

“Though, something seems to be off about Kuraima-san…” A pawn was moved forward.

 

“Ooh, you’ve felt it too?”

 

The two were quite well aware of Kuraima. He was an American transfer student, here to live a few years in his parents’ ancestral homeland.

 

“Sensou Kuraima, age 17. Comes from a long line of fairly strong mages, branching out from a bastard child of the leader’s clan back in the late Feudal era. His magic supply is above average, if he put in some effort, he might be able to match a low-ranking Devil.” A rook was moved. “However, his family did not inherit any documents of magical nature, as such, not even his grandparents are aware of their magic potential.”

 

“Ohoho, you sure do know a lot about him~! Sizing him up for your peerage?” The buxom black-haired woman asked, moving one of her knight pieces.

 

“I did consider it. However, the art of magic can be mathematically intensive, and according to his reports, he just barely passed high-school math in the last few semesters. In addition to this, he’s been diagnosed with ADHD amongst other mild mental disorders.”

 

“Such a shame.” Akeno cooed.

 

“But now, he suddenly returns after being attacked by an unknown assailant over the weekend and remembers Issei talking about Yuuma? Not to mention, that he seems to have awoken what potentially might be a Sacred Gear. A little odd, don’t you think?”

 

The queen piece was moved.

 

“Very much so, buchou~! It seems like these birds weren’t completely thorough in covering their tracks!”

 

“Come to think of it, this Nyke person...he too had the magic signature of a Sacred Gear...you don’t suppose they’re connected, are they?”

 

“Who knows~?”

 

* * *

 

 

Unfortunately, Kuraima just couldn’t escape the presence of the infamous serial pervert. To add insult to injury, his current powerset did not include the ability to cancel out the brunette’s ramblings.

 

“For the love of Ast— _God,_ Issei, shut up.” He grumbled, not noticing Issei flinch when he said the G-word. “You’re _not_ getting a harem! That’s not how the world works! It’s not even worth the effort!”

 

To Issei, what his classmate said was _Warhammer 40K_ levels of pure _heresy!_

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

Kuraima wasn’t sure how they got from the subject Yuuma to the practicality and ethics of harems. But here they were.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Then prove it!”

 

The fight was on. Kuraima was known for being a quiet and well-behaved kid since he didn’t have that many friends.

 

So when he challenged Issei, the people around the two started listening in.

 

Normally, Kuraima’s ADHD would make him babble some dumb irrelevant shit, but luckily, he’d prepared for this scenario through many accumulated hours of shower thoughts and Discord conversations.

 

“First of all, what’re the chances that you’ll find someone open to the idea of being in a harem?”

 

That shut Issei up, but the Astral kid wasn’t done just yet, not by a long shot.

 

“Secondly, imagine how expensive it would be! You don’t even have a part-time job. Let's face it. You’ve got like, what, marriage expenses, bribes for the authorities so that they’ll actually register your marriages, renovations…” 

 

As Kuraima was listing off things Issei would have to pay for, he was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

 

“Ahem ...ah, did I come in at a bad time?” 

 

Everyone had been so caught up in the third-year’s rant that nobody had even noticed that _the_ most popular male student of this school had entered the room.

 

Kuraima subconsciously put his hands over his ears, bracing himself as shrill shrieks of rabid fangirls pierced the air around him.

 

“Oh my god, it’s our Prince of Kuoh™!”

 

“Aaaaaaaaah oh my god, he’s so hot!”

 

“Kyaaaaaaaaah have my babies!”

 

_‘I wanna go home, away from this anime bullshit. Why the hell did mom and dad pick this school? Everyone here acts like a stereotypical anime character. Seriously, the next school over is literally a normal-ass school. This is a weaboo’s wet dream and I fucking hate it.’_

 

…

 

_‘Wait, shit. Am I the main character type?’_ He began mentally listing the common main character tropes for anime and manga school settings, the existential dread from before settling back in, sloshing through his mind like a tidal wave. 

 

_‘Foreigner exchange student? Well, from a nationality standpoint...check.’_

 

_‘Received a power from a long-dead entity from another world? Check.’_

 

_‘Befriended the weird kid? Check, apparently.’_

 

_‘About to be requested by one of the most popular kids in school? Nah, I'm—‘_

 

“Hyoudou-san and Kuraima-san, could I ask the two of you to please come with me?”

 

_‘GOD FUCKING DAMNIT.’_

 

…

 

_‘Check.’_

 

He looked over at Issei. “This isn’t over, you hear me?”

* * *

 

 

Kuraima did his best to tune out the screams of the blonde kid’s fangirls as they all started being verbal about their fantasies of the beloved Prince of Kuoh™; Yuuto Kiba.

 

He’d often crossed paths with the fellow third-year during his time here but seldom interacted with one another save for the occasional greeting when they passed by each other in the hallway. 

 

Which, by some miracle, had not caused rumors about the two, which was a greater display of self-control than the RWBY fandom could ever hope to achieve when it comes to shipping.

 

“Hey, Kiba-san?”

 

“Hm?” 

 

“How do you put up with your…fangirls?”

 

Kiba shrugged. “You get used to it. I lost count after the 37th request to ‘have my babies’, as they say.”

 

Kuraima snrk’d in amusement. Meanwhile, Issei, on the other hand, looked tense. The Perverted Trio, as well as the less...savory boys, which unfortunately made up a large portion of the male population, held great disdain for the “handsome” pretty-boys such as Kiba.

 

“So, uh, why do you need us, anyway?” Kuraima asked. “Ah, well, Rias-senpai requested to see the two of you.”

 

Kuraima did a double-take. 

 

“You mean… _The_ Rias? Like, _Great Lady of Kuoh_ Rias??” He asked.

 

Kiba smirked. “The one and only.”

 

Issei visibly perked up after that, without a doubt forgetting his contempt for Kiba and now thinking lecherous thoughts.

 

Who could blame him? Kuraima had to admit; Rias was kind of hot. 

  


* * *

 

  


Turns out, Rias wanted to see them inside of the somewhat shady building that had yet to be demolished.

 

To his surprise, it was actually decently maintained on the inside, save for the low number of lighting fixtures and...that one odd-looking door covered in that black and yellow _DO NOT ENTER_ tape.

 

He was rather tempted to use his wallhacks to peek inside...but then the realization that this power needed a name overpowered his curiosity.

 

His brainstorming was interrupted when the trio finally came upon a room that surprisingly looked somewhat luxurious, with a couple of big red velvet couches.

 

“Okay, this is actually pretty nice.” The Astral student commented, taking a seat. Already, he felt relaxed from just sitting on the cushions.

 

“I see you’ve already made yourself at home, Kuraima-san.” Kiba chuckled. “Akeno-san’s making some tea, and Rias-sama will be out here to meet you shortly.”

 

He nodded in acknowledgment and decided to think about things.

  


_‘So, why are we here anyway?’_ He thought to himself. _‘Issei did talk about the whole Yuuma thing, so that’s why he’s here…so why am…’_

 

Wait a minute.

 

_‘...is that the sound of running water?’_

 

He listened for a bit before realizing that there was, in fact, a _functioning shower_ inside of the ORC building. 

 

The student turned to the short white-haired girl that he’d somehow failed to notice when he’d entered the room, who had a huge bowl of various candies in her lap.

 

Ah, Koneko. Another one of the more popular students, known for downright adorable if quiet. Also popular among the pedo— _lolicons_ in the school’s roster.

 

“Is that what I think that is?”

 

“Yes.” She deadpanned.

 

Once again, the temptation to use his…

 

...his…

 

…Hmmmm, Kuraima still needed a name for his wallhack…

 

_‘Ooh, Third Eye_ _sounds nice..’_

 

“K-Kuraima-san! Your eyes are glowing! And...where’d that necklace come from?”

 

 “Huh?” The student looked up to see that the others were enveloped in a green aura and completely visible to him in spite of whatever furniture was in the way.

 

Then it happened. He saw the naked, voluptuous water-soaked body of Rias Gremory.

 

“SHIT.” He exclaimed, closing his eyes.

 

Nope, still there.

 

“Kuraima-san! Please calm down!” 

 

—

 

A few moments later, Kuraima managed to calm down thanks to Kiba and Issei’s efforts.

 

“What happened there, Kuraima-san?” The Prince of Kuoh asked concernedly.

 

“I...doubt you’d believe me.”

 

“Oh? Is that a challenge?” A new voice said.

 

Kuriama looked up to see the reason for his panic standing there fully clothed.

 

Even in the school uniform, Kuraima found her plenty attractive.

 

”M-My apologies, Gremory-senpai…” He bowed forward a little, attempting to put his knowledge of Japanese culture to use. 

 

Rias giggled. “No need for formalities nor apologies, Kuraima. As for whatever you have to tell us, well…I’d like to clear up a few things for the both of you.” She said, referring to both Kuraima and Issei. “First of all, we’re not exactly human ourselves.”

 

With a collective series of _fwip_ s, the ORC members suddenly revealed batlike wings on their backs.

 

For some odd reason, a pair appeared on Issei too, which startled the poor kid.

 

“.......Oh.”

 

“Ara~ You don’t seem that surprised, Kuraima-san~” The voice of Akeno cooed.

 

“A-Ah...well…I am...I just...I think it’s the shock, y’ know? I’ve had a rough weekend.”

 

The Astral champion didn’t like the way she reacted when he said “rough”.

 

Rias then went into an exposition lore dump, however, Kuraima kinda zoned out, wondering what would happen if Diavolo from Jojo Part 5 fought against Coil from Worm and they both used their time-bending abilities at the same time.

 

What details Kuraima picked up on was that the Christian side of the supernatural world was composed of three factions; Angels, Fallen Angels, and Devils.

 

The three got along as well as you’d expect. There was a “Great War” that killed over most of the 72 High-Class Devil families, and eventually, they agreed upon a shaky ceasefire.

 

Oh yeah, and _Satan fucking died_ so now the Devils are governed by four of the most powerful, who has been dubbed as the Satan _s._

 

Since Devils have absurdly low contraception rates (Something which bugged Kuraima for a bit. They have _magic_ , y’ know.) one of the four Satans (The original died in the war) came up with a solution: the Devil Piece system.

 

High-Class devils and above could form a peerage using these pieces, to reincarnate people as devils and increase their numbers.

 

So, what had happened was that Issei had straight-up _fucking died_ and Rias had reincarnated him.

 

Issei wasn’t fully on board with it until Rias told him that he could rank up to a High-Class and get himself a peerage. To rank up, one had to either be summoned by humans and complete their requests (They stopped accepting souls a long time ago) or to fight in gladiatorial combat, in what was known as a Rating Game.

 

Kuraima didn’t know whether to respect or be disgusted by pervert’s dedication to privacy invasion.

 

Also, Issei had one of those Sacred Gears, and since his GF-revealed-to-be-Fallen Angel had killed him because of it, the pervert had a fucking high tier weapon.

 

Unfortunately, when he tried to activate it by imitating Goku from Dragon Ball, it appeared to be a measly “Twice Critical”, whatever that means.

 

“Anyways, with all that cleared up…” she turned to Kuraima. “So what was the deal you had just a moment ago?”

 

“Oh…well...you see,” He began, fiddling with the large medallion. “I kinda have one of those Sacred Gears myself. A really rare one, too.”

 

The buxom redhead raised an eyebrow, up to the challenge. “Really? What makes you say that?”

 

“I’m the one who still needs to name it.”

 

… 

 

“Wow...that is pretty rare.” Kiba offhandedly commented.

 

“Interesting. And that freakout…?”

 

“Yeah, that was me giving one of the abilities a name and accidentally triggering it.”

 

“What did it do?”

 

The third-year’s face blanched. ”I’m gonna be real with you..”

 

“...It lets me see people, valuables, and even some types of traps through walls.”

 

The gears turned in Issei’s head.

 

_“YOU SAW RIAS NAKED TOO??”_

 

Kuraim buried his hands in his face and desperately craved the sweet release of death. _‘Fuck my autistic ass’_ He thought to himself.

 

Even worse, the red Devil seemed to take it in stride. “Well, I forgive you. Everybody makes mistakes. Though there is something else I’d like to know. You see, up until you came into school this morning, we had confirmed that you lacked a Sacred Gear. So how on earth did you suddenly get one?”

 

Kuraima thought for a moment. Then, he explained how he’d met the unassuming old man and helped him out after accidentally bumping into him. He told her about the dream encounter with Astrum Deus, the giant space worm.

 

“So through chance, you’ve been selected as this planet’s ‘Champion’ of a god from another world.”

 

Said champion shrugged. “Yeah. Told me that I can supposedly evolve this thing as I see fit. Also, whenever I develop a new power, the voice of David Attenborough gives me a summary. I’ve got two powers at the moment; the aforementioned wall-vision I’ve dubbed _[Third eye],_ and this thing called _[Blessing]_. Think like Reinforcement from the Fate series. That’s how the voice described it.”

 

Rias was busy writing this down, using a notepad she’d gotten from...somewhere.

 

“You said you haven’t named the gear itself yet. Shall we do that right here and now?”

 

_‘Hmm…Astrum Deus said that his name meant “The Star God” in Latin. I hope he’s right because that’s not what Google Translate told me…’_

 

“I don’t know why...but...something tells me to go with…

 

**_…[Stella Dominus.]”_ **

  
  


…

 

…

 

…

 

Everyone just stared at him.

 

“I honestly have no idea where that came from. I don’t even know Latin.”

 

“I...I see. It’s not a bad name, though.”

 

* * *

 

Sometime later, Rias watched Kuraima leave the school grounds, viewing him through the clubhouse window before turning to pull some papers out of a nearby cabinet.

 

She’d have to file the paperwork to get him registered to the ORC, even though he’d awkwardly rejected her request to join the peerage, citing that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to “Reject his humanity.”

 

She got that reference.

 

However, the young devil would have to keep an eye out. New types of Sacred Gears have been appearing recently, which is very concerning as the last time a new Sacred Gear was discovered, disregarding subspecies, was several decades ago.

 

Hopefully, the presence of not one but _two_ devils directly related to the four Satans would keep others from trying anything sketchy in her territory.

 

* * *

 

 

Kuraima entered his house and immediately flopped onto his couch

 

Home sweet home.

 

He rolled over, holding **_Stella Dominus_ **into the air once more to inspect it.

 

“So it’s me and you, huh?”

 

…

 

“It would be nice if you could talk back.”

 

No response.

 

“Eh, it was worth a shot.” He muttered, activating _[Third Eye]_ for no particular reason.

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

“Huh. There sure are a lot of crows out here today.”

 

 

* * *

 

  


**Kuraima’s current abilities:**

 

**[Third Eye] - Allows Kuraima to see living entities both friendly and otherwise, traps, and objects with high monetary value through walls or other physical obstructions. Current maximum range is about 5 meters (Roughly 16 ft)**

 

**[Blessing] - Allows Kuraima to “bless” objects, improving their overall quality. As of now, he can bless small, simple objects such as knives and increase their capabilities by 10%.**

 


	4. Heaven-ish and Hell-ish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuraima meets an innocent nun named Asia Argento.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, and then he watches Rias' group beat up a Stray Devil.

_[(PAYDAY!) Fill up your bags!]_

_[(PAYDAY!) Empty your mags!]_

Music filled Kuraima’s ears as he jogged through the town of Kuoh in the cool weekend morning air.

_[We’re on a streak, so it’s (PAYDAY!) every single day of the week!]_

The song in question was _Its Payday_ by Simon Viklund. Yes, the same guy who makes the Payday 2 soundtrack.

The Astral Student didn’t really play the game that much, but he absolutely loved the soundtrack. There’s not really many things as hype-inducing as the build-up for when Plan B is put into motion.

Unfortunately, all things must end. _Especially_ good things. That is a truth we must come upon sooner or later.

In this case, the truth took the form of a mysterious black fabric smacking him in the face and obscuring his vision.

“Wha-?!”

He fumbled around, trying to pry the offending fabric off. 

His savior came in the form of a familiar pervert; Issei Hyoudou himself.

“Oi Kuraima-san! Thanks for the save!”

Light returned to the Astral Student’s eyes as his classmate removed the literal veil that had covered his face. 

Kuraima quickly paused his music and pulled his earbuds out, staring at Hyoudou.

“Hyoudou-san.”

“Yes?”

“Why are you with a nun?”

Standing next to Issei was an admittedly adorable-looking blonde-haired nun. She looked incredibly embarrassed, indicated by her blushing red face and apologetic tone of voice.

“Well, if you saw a lady in distress, wouldn’t you help out too?”

“Well, maybe I would, but you’re not the kind who should of person who should be saving them!”

“Oi! I have _standards_ when it comes to treating women!”

“Yeah well then prove it!”

“E….E-Excuse me…?”

The shy, timid voice of the nun quickly halted the hostilities as the two spun around to face her.

“P-Please stop arguing…”

Kuraima’s heart, frosted by moderately inadequate socialization, melted.

_‘I, Speedwa—...Sensou Kuraima shall let none harm this cinnamon bun!’_

Suddenly, the nun perked up. “O-Oh! Are you hurt?” She asked the Astral Champion, spotting a partially covered bruise peeking out from under his sleeve.

“Oh...ah...don’t worry about it. I just…”

—

**[A few days ago…]**

Everyone goes on and on about how Australia has the biggest, baddest bugs on the planet.

Clearly they’ve never seen any type of Asian hornet. About the size of one’s thumb and venomous enough to kill a man if stung multiple times.

Right now, there was one inside Kuraima’s house. 

Not only was he scared of getting stung, but he also didn’t want to deal with the mess this thing was gonna leave on the wall if he actually swatted it.

He watched as it sat on one of the light fixtures in the hallway, looking around with a methodical and somewhat mechanical poise.

The great beast took flight, and the student reacted.

The human body has a process known as the _Fight or Flight_ response, in which the body energizes itself with adrenaline in response to danger.

Kuraima yelped as he instinctively chose flight.

And fly he did…down a flight of stairs.

—

**[Present day]**

“.....Yeah, I fell out of the bed when I woke up the other day. Nothing to worry about.”

“W-Wait! I can help!” She responded, getting closer to him and holding her hands out over the wound. A ring materialized on her finger, emitting a soft green glow as his bruise began to disappear.

“Woah…” Kuraima and Issei both said at the same time, mesmerized by the spectacle. He rubbed his arm, embracing himself for mild pain, only to widen his eyes when he felt absolutely nothing. All that was left was an unblemished arm.

“It’s gone...wow. How’d you do that?” Issei asked her.

“A...Ah…well, it’s...they called it a Sacred Gear... **_Twilight Healing._ **”

Kuraima vaguely remembered reading up on that after he’d requested some books on the supernatural from the Gremory Devil on a whim of curiosity. After all, his knowledge obtained from the Fate/Night series could only cover so much ground.

Basically, it was a pretty rare Sacred Gear. As the name suggests, it heals people.

That’s…about all it does, but given this encounter, it does it exceptionally well. Can’t heal certain diseases, but he idly wondered if it would help with the mild cramps he’s been having lately.

“May we get a name?”

“O-Oh, how rude of me...It’s Asia...A-Asia Argento.”

—

Turns out, this nun, named Asia Argento, was in the middle of transferring to the local church.

Which was really weird, because in the three years that he lived here in Kuoh, Kuraima wasn’t even aware that this town had a Christian Church, to begin with.

For good reason, too. The place had been abandoned for...who knows, maybe God actually knew how long.

“Are...are you sure you’re supposed to be here, Argento-san?” Kuraima asked, feeling very concerned as he looked at the run-down building. Clearly, it had seen better days.

“Y…Yes, it is, Mister Kuraima…”

“Excuse me for just a moment..” he turned to Issei, whispering.

_“Hyoudou-san, are you sure we should be here?”_

_“Huh?”_

_“Think about it. It’s a church. You’re a devil. You go in there, only…only ‘The-Man-Upstairs’ knows what’s going to happen to you, and whatever it is, everything will NOT be awesome.”_

Issei kinda stared at him for a little bit as the Astral Student’s movie reference flew right over his head.

_“Then what the hell are we supposed to do?!”_

_“...I have no clue…”_

“Y…You know...it’s alright if you need to go…” Asia spoke up. “I...I won’t hold it against you…”

“Are...are you sure?”

“Y-Yes...I can see that the two of you have places to be…”

“Ah...we ...erm…”

In the end, Kuraima and Issei had to make the heart-wrenching decision to leave her in the hands of whoever was in that church.

—

“W-What?!”

“You heard me, Hyoudou-san. Stay away from that nun _and_ that church.”

“B-But—“

“I mean it. Even if she doesn’t actively intend to harm you, she’s still affiliated with the Church.”

That Monday, the Occult Research Club had gathered for their afternoon meeting after school let out.

Kuraima was only paying half-attention, to the drama unfolding behind him, focusing more on playing _Fire Emblem: Three Houses_ on his Nintendo Switch.

_‘Attagirl, Bernie!’_

Sure, he could tune in, but ADHD and the need to level up best girl was stronger.

Bernadetta is _the_ best archer unit. Fight me.

The warning from Rias had probably applied to him as well, but since he himself wasn’t a devil, he had a bit more leeway.

Not that he’d want to try anything, mind you.

The infamous pervert eventually came over and sat down on the couch, sulking.

“Come on, cheer up, Hyoudou-san. I heard that some kind of new fantasy-themed cosplay cafe opened up downtown. Wanna go check it out?”

A few hours after dropping off Asia at the abandoned church, Kuraima had come across a rather unique-looking cafe. He assumed it was fantasy-themed because the employees were dressed up as barmaids and he was certain he saw a knight or two.

“Can’t. Gremory-senpai wants me to accompany her on a Stray Devil hunt, whatever that means.”

“Alright. Maybe some other time?”

_‘Wait, when the hell did me and Issei become buddies?’_ Kuraima mentally asked himself. Usually, when he’d meet the pervert, it would end in snarky comments and lots of inane bickering.

…

…

…

Fuck it. 

The Astral Champion couldn’t be bothered to care about trivial things such as the human psyche.

“Yeah.”

He wondered if Rias would let him follow them.

—

She allowed him.

So here they are, standing in front of some rather sketchy warehouse.

“So, Gremory-senpai, what exactly are Stray Devils?” Kuraima asked, crossing his arms.

“Good question. Put simply, Stray Devils are reincarnated devils who have either run away from or killed their masters.”

“Ah…that’s…so why do we gotta kill them? Can they be reasoned with?”

“Usually not, I’m afraid. You see, without the King Piece to regulate the power of the Evil Piece contained within them, they mutate horribly and develop a craving for human flesh.”

Oh. So _that’s_ what attacked him that fateful night.

”I mean you can try, but they’re usually too mad with power to use logical thinking.”

—

**[Flashback to chapter 2…]**

_An awkward pause ensued before she started screaming. “...That’s. IT._ **_I’m going to strip you down, down to your bones!_ ** _”_

_“But I just—“_

**_“SHUT UUUUUP! HOW DARE YOU BRING LOGIC INTO THE EQUATION!”_ **

—

**[Present day]**

“....Yeah, I see your point. Excuse my language, but fucking hell, that kinda sucks for all parties involved, doesn’t it?”

The redheaded devil giggled as his choice of words. “You don’t have to ask, we’re friends, y’know? You _did_ drop a loud s-bomb the other day. Also, you can drop the whole “Gremory-Senpai” thing. And yes, you’re right.”

“Ah, sure thing, Rias-sama.”

_‘Holy shit I just got on a first-name basis with one of the most popular girls in my school.’_

…

_‘Please don’t tell me I'm the main character of a romance story.’_

“...So wait, runaways count as stray devils? How does that work?”

The Gremory shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not too sure of the specific details. What I do know is that the majority of Devil society doesn’t really care, to them’s a stray’s a stray.”

_‘.....I actually kinda feel bad for the worm thot now.’_

“Lemme guess, Devil society like the US Congress; Full of old men who can’t get shit done?”

“That’s...that’s shockingly accurate, actually.”

“It’s here,” Koneko called out. Immediately, Rias took on a more authoritative stance, her tone of voice changing.

“Alright! Everyone, be on your guard.”

Kuraima blinked a few times when he heard the sound of something moving inside the warehouse. Always had to be warehouses...

Oh _god, the smell!_ Whatever was causing it, it was rancid! No wonder Koneko knew it was here.

“Oh? I smell something bad, but also I smell something tasty. Is it something sweet, or shall it be something sour?”

A person peeked around the corner.  It was a woman with naked breasts.

“Nice…!” Issei called out, excited by a pair of well-sized bahonkeroos on display before him. 

However, Kuraima, while he admittedly kinda liked what he saw thus far, knew better since he’s encountered a stray himself.

_‘Wait for it…’_

“Oh, you will **all make for a tasty meal!** ”

A centaur-like body emerged, the front...legs...arms...whatever they were...dragging it forward. Said front arms had red human-like hands with equally red claws that seemed to blend in perfectly. 

Located the horse half’s abdomen, a grinning maw of jagged teeth.

_“_ Oh god oh FUCK”

_‘Aaaaaand there it is.’_

The Astral champion inspected this monstrosity up and down. 

Ah...hmm…..

You know, maybe the worm thot was at least worth a 3, maybe 4, compared to this thing.

“Stray Devil Viser, you are hereby to be executed for your crimes. Surrender now, and I’ll make sure your death is quick one.”

**“Like hell, I will, you red-haired little shit!”**

“So be it.” She turned to Kuraima and Issei. “Pay attention, for now, I shall show you the power of the Evil Piece system.” She turned back to her peerage. “Kiba! You’re up first!”

“Got it.” The Prince leaped forward, prompting Viser to attack. She pulled a pair of spears from...somewhere and stabbed as him.

However, the Prince was much faster than she expected, causing the spears to pierce through the hardened concrete, leaving one to imagine how badly it would fuck up your day if she hit you.

“H-He teleported!” The pervert cried out in shock. Kuraima had to spend a few moments to comprehend what he just saw.

“Not really. Kiba was reincarnated as a _Knight._ When it comes to speed, few can match such a class. It’d only make sense that he’d be my Knight, given his skill with a sword.”

Ah, of course. The speedy swordsman stereotype. 

As Viser moved for another strike, Kiba swung his blade. Were it not for the brief glint of steel, one might’ve thought that the stray’s arms just popped off.

**“GRAAAAGH!”**

**  
  
**

“Good work, Kiba. Koneko, you’re up!”

The Prince pulled back as the short white-haired girl casually walked up to the behemoth.

**“Are you brats even taking me seriously?!”** Viser cried out, opening her stomach-mouth. **“Maybe this will teach you a lesson!”**

_Chomp._

**  
  
**

“Koneko-saaan!” Issei cried out. The Astral Student had to admit that even he was a little worried, but Rias’ expression told him otherwise.

“Don’t worry. She can take it.” As if on cue, Viser’s massive jaw was forced open by the pipsqueak. 

**“W-What?!”**

“As a _Rook,_ Koneko can take a lot of punishment and dish it out just as hard.”

The little Rook turned around and punched the Stray in the abdomen, causing the oversized beast to be sent flying a fair distance into some empty crates, shattering them.

“You...you didn’t rehearse this, did you? You seem awfully and rightfully confident of your Peerage’s strength.”

“...”

Did Rias just pout a little?

“Hey, just askin’! You’re very...erm…”

“Passionate!” Issei finished.

“Yes, as much as I hate to say it...thank you, Hyoudou-san.”

**  
  
**

“A-Anways...Akeno-san, show them the power of the Queen!!”

**  
  
**

As the stray attempted to get back up, the buxom devil waltzed right up to it.

“ _Ara ara_ , going somewhere?”

“As a _Queen_ , Akeno holds the power of a Rook, the speed of a Knight, and the magical prowess of a _Bishop,_ of which I am unfortunately unable to demonstrate tonight due to circumstances.”

Lightning crackled around her arms before she launched it right at Viser, causing the abomination to writhe and scream.

“Oh Astrum oh fuck, she’s a sadist.” 

The two boys watched in varying degrees of abject horror as one of the _‘Two Great Onee-chans of Kuoh™’_ giggled while torturing a literal hellspawn.

Finally, the show ended, with Viser collapsed on the ground, charred and smoking, but still alive.

“Now, before I finish you off…” Rias walked forward, a bright red ball of pure, unadulterated destruction forming in her outstretched hand.

“Any last words?”

_‘Holy shit, did Rias just take a level in badass?’_

_“Greeaagah…just end me…”_

“Hmph. As you wish.” She fired off a single shot of her magic, completely annihilating Viser.

Silence reigned as the dust settled.

“That was fucking awesome.”

“What piece am I, Rias-sama?!” Issei asked, eager to know where he stood.

Rias chuckled. “You’re the _Pawn,_ Hyoudou-san.”

The pervert’s enthusiasm dropped harder than Projared’s Youtube career, causing Kuraima to chuckle at his misfortune.

“Cheer up, Hyoudou-san.” Rias comforted him. “Pawns are more powerful than you think. After all, you took up all _nine_ of my Pawn pieces.”

“Huh? What does that mean?”

“It means that you’ve got great potential, Ise.”

“R-Really!?”

Kuraima had to admit, it was actually a bit heartwarming to watch the redhead giving him some motivation.

Rias turned around to address her peerage. “Alright, now it’s time to clean up this place and hide any evidence of supernatural activity.”

As the group went around, cleaning up various animal skeletons Viser had stripped clean (Luckily she didn’t have enough time to settle in and hunt humans), Kuraima came upon a curious set of glowing vials filled with a vicious green liquid.

“Huh. Gross, but kinda cool, I guess…”

He picked one up, wiggling it to slosh the fluid around.

“Viser was supposedly able shoot acid from her breasts.” The white-haired little Devil spoke up from behind him.

…

…

…

“Oh. That’s...that’s actually...I’m just gonna put this back now.”

_‘....is this Greek Mythology? If it ain’t Deviantart then it’s probably the Greeks.’_

_—_

**[Later that evening...]**

“Ha!”

Kuraima was busy training in his backyard to improve his combat skills. After what he’s seen and been through, he _needed_ to get stronger.

His knife, enchanted by a blessing, pierced through a humanoid sandbag, causing sand to spill forth from the tear.

He’d managed to improve his **[Blessing]** to the point where, mathematically speaking, he could improve an object’s capabilities up to **16%.** It’s not much, but the difference could mean life or death. He could also now confer blessing on slightly more complex objects, such as the multiple segments of the retractable baton he’d bought and was currently using to bash the sand-dummy’s head in.

After a while, the Astral champion sat down on the porch step to cool off and drink whatever off brand Gatorade he’d bought.

Honestly it was really fuckin’ delicious.

As the third-year pulled the bottle away, he looked up at the practice dummy, and…

  
  


Found himself in the mid-day desert.

_‘Nani the fuck.’_

No matter how much he wanted to speak up with his amatuer linguistics joke, his mouth wouldn’t open nor would his body respond to his surprise. 

_“Heh,”_ ‘Kuraima’ said. His own body was moving _and_ talking against his will. How utterly de-FUCKING-lightful. He was tempted to add another f-bomb to that word, but it just wouldn’t roll off the tongue quite as well.

_“I have trained for this day! A challenge to prove my worth! If I fail, then please, by the name of Astrum Deus, be it in a blaze of glory!”_

His body reached to the side, drawing a rather beautiful katana.

_‘A katana. Geez, talk about super fucking generic. This guy must be a huge fucking weaboo. But hey, a Ninjato! That’s a type of katana you don’t see too much of in anime shows!’_ Kuraima thought, the irony of his latter statement a bit lost on him.

_…_

_…_

_…_

_‘....I want that sword so I can put it up on my wall. Maybe as a trophy.’_

His eyes glanced over at the sword. Huh. So his eyes still had control, which was pretty unsettling, to say the least, but he shrugged it off for now.

A shiny, steel-gray blade with a golden guard and a nice velvet-colored grip.

_[Blade of the Slime King]_

Huh. Interesting.

_“Great Scourge, reveal yourself to me!”_

Suddenly, the ground began to rumble. Kuraima mentally screamed at “himself” to bail, but his body stood his ground, holding the blade at the ready.

A sandstorm picked up as the smooth desert dunes all but burst, revealing a massive behemoth of a worm. 

_[Desert Scourge]_

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Hoo boy.

As “Kuraima” charged forward, blade in hand, the Desert Scourge plunged down at “him”, maw wide open and hungry for an appetizer.

To the real Kuraima, it all became a blur.

_“w…..r…”_

**SLASH!**

_“wat...r”_

**GROAAAAAAR!**

—

“Water…!”

Kuraima suddenly snapped out of his weird delusion, feeling something scrap against his ankles.

It was the fucking Worm Thot, parched, malnourished, and ultimately at his mercy.

“Please…” She coughed, her voice dry as could be, “...H...help.”

Kuraima thought for a while.

_“...They can’t be reasoned with…”_ Rias’ voice replayed in his mind.

And so, the Astral Student drew his blade, and down came his blade upon the flesh…

…

…

...

—

...the flesh of dinner, of course!

Kuraima might’ve been a master of instant noodles— a skill which may serve quite nicely in college— but he knew how to cook up a decent fish meal.

So here he was, sitting here, eating a nice dinner with someone who had literally attempted to murder him a week ago with the intention of cannibalizing his corpse.

You didn’t really think he had the balls to finish the job, did you? 

Well, he didn’t. He hasn’t reached that character arc yet.

She honestly just looked so pitiful, crawling on the ground while clutching her stomach where he’d stabbed her during their previous encounter.

So after getting her cleaned up and bandaged up, he decided to shower his wimp-induced mercy upon her.

“So how is it?” He asked her, still wary that he was in the presence of a killer.

“So good ...thank you…” She said in-between bites.

 

Kuraima couldn’t help but smile a little.

Truth be told, once she had that bath, she didn’t look all that bad. The dried padding of flakey...chitin…(?), had washed right off, revealing a layer of clean, slightly sunbaked skin.

With this new development, she was most definitely a 5.8/10.

Why a 5.8? He was still a bit grossed out by the whole “body was full of parasitic worms” thing. 

The student still wasn’t sure if Sakura Matou had it worse.

…..Okay. Maybe her weird teeth warranted a 5.5/10.

Kuraima shrugged that train of thought away.

“So, is there any reason why you’re not trying to kill me?”

The gal looked up at him. “W ...Well...I...you...spared my life when I tried to take yours…”

“....Aight, fair enough.”

“W-Wait, that’s it?! You’re just gonna forgive me, just like that?!”

“Heh, I dunno. That was the first time I had someone actively trying to kill me. Hell, I still feel dead inside for killing your buddy…”

Don’t think about it.

Don’t think about how you watched the life fade from his eyes as you pierced his abdomen with your combat knife, the enemy coughing up the last of his lifeblood.

Don’t think about the rush of adrenaline  you felt upon ending another person’s life—

“Eh, that guy was a bit of a dick to be honest.”

They both laughed. Guilt abruptly absolved!

“Heh. Say, need to crash here for the night?”

“I suppose I shall, given the circumstances.”

“Eh, alright. I got a spare bedroom that I don’t really use. Might be dusty, though.”

“Doesn’t bother me a bit, honestly!”

And so Kuraima had a new housemate.

—

**[Kuraima’s dreamscape]**

That night, when Kuraima went to sleep, he found himself back in that desert, spectating that weeb guy’s point of view.

He felt the sting of “his” wounds as he sat atop the carcasses of the massive Desert Scourges.

Why the hell was he having these visions _now_ of all times? A little late for that, don’t you think? The whole fiasco was like what, about a week ago?

_“Hey!”_ A voice called out. _“Not bad, kiddo!”_ Kuraima looked over at the source of the voice; a rather orthodox-looking man. Well, normal-looking save for his obviously strange eyes that seemed oddly bright with equally bright coloration.

He wanted to say that they were...pixelated, in a way? Weird.

_“Ah, sensei!”_ His body moved to get up and bow before the newcomer. _“I have completed the task that you have bestowed upon me!”_

The strange man looked around, seeing the corpses of not one but _three_ worms.

_“Wait, you took down three Scourges??”_

_“It was a tough battle, sensei!”_

_“...I see. Looks like you’ve got what it takes to become Terraria’s Astral Champion after all.”_

_“You really believe so?”_

_“Heh, I know so, buddy. Also, please drop the whole sensei thing. Clearly, Alizarin’s let you watch one too many of those Asian cartoons.”_

_“With all due respect, sir, they’re not cartoons, they—“_

_“That they’re a way of life for the most cultured of men? Yeah yeah, whatever. That big red hairball said those exact same words. Besides, I’m just messin’ with ya.”_

_“By the way, big red’s father-in-law wanted you to have this.” The man pulled out a glowing orb, which ominously trailed with otherworldly magics._

**_[The Desert Scourge...truly, a beast born of the consequences.]_** Spoke a voice from the sphere, causing it to pulsate. **_[Perhaps if I had not acted so rashly, there’d be a kingdom still thriving here. However, there is no use in dwelling on the past.]_**

A moment of silence.

**_[Still, for you to go as far and clean my dirty work in exchange for nothing of monetary value...truly, you are a strange one. If you so wish to prove yourself, then the two of you have a tough and arduous journey ahead. But I believe in you, young champion.]_ **

_“I wouldn’t have it any other way. With the Solar Apostle to guide me, no task shall be above me! Dare I say, I shall be Over Heaven!”_

_“Heh, now you’re just spouting references. Come on, let’s go get lunch.”_

Kuraima was really, really confused as to what the hell was going on.

But he knew a Jojo reference when heard one, so at least he had that going for him.


End file.
